A Funny Little Thing Called Love By Jessie Jones, Nicholas Hope, and Jamie Wooten
Produced by April Bridgeman
Directed by Matthew Cibak and Sally Ann Flores
This deliriously funny new Jones Hope Wooten comedy is all about that four-letter word: L-O-V-E. Under a full moon on this unpredictable night of romance, these four rollicking tales take you on an around-the-globe journey of unexpected and hilarious twists and turns: A slick, successful used-car-selling Romeo in Dallas, Texas, believes he’s answering Cupid’s call, only to realize too late that he’s wandered into a life-changing trap set by three fed-up Juliets. On an island getaway, The Hallelujah Girls, a group of fun-loving gals from Georgia, say aloha to their wild sides as they accidentally crash a Hawaiian honeymoon in progress. These five women—and Waikiki—will never be the same! In a rooftop London bistro, sparks fly when two strangers surprisingly start to connect, only to be thwarted by a hyperactive American tourist who’s determined to be the center of attention, and the unpredictable antics of an ancient waitress who wields a wicked sousaphone. And finally, in Manhattan, a man tries to battle his way out of a mid-life crisis with an ill-advised and elaborate marriage proposal. Unfortunately, it all goes wildly off-track when his caterer passes out, a tap-dancing singing telegram girl breaks into sobs rather than song, his ex-wife saunters in wearing nothing but a bathrobe and a smile, and a cowering superhero inches nervously across his twelfth-floor window ledge. So, open your heart to romantic mayhem and come join the fun! By the time the evening is over and the moon works its magic, love will conquer all and your sides will ache from laughter!
Auditions will be held on Saturday, July 9 from 10:00am – 1:00pm at StageCoach Theatre in Ashburn. Actors will come in for cold reads of the script. There are many roles to fill, and we are planning to have actors perform multiple parts. Please reserve an audition time on Sign-Up Genius and complete the audition form prior to your audition time, indicating that you will audition in person. Bring a printed copy of your headshot and resume to the audition.
If an actor cannot attend the audition in person, video submissions will be accepted until July 8th at midnight. Submit audition video to info@stagecoachtc.com. Send one video only. Before you read, please tell us your name and the role/roles you will be reading for. We recommend that you memorize your 1-minute comedic monologue so you can focus on your performance. Before you send your video, be sure to complete the audition form and indicate that you are sending us a video submission.
All actors MUST show proof of COVID vaccination at audition or, if cast, at the first day of rehearsal.
Performances will be on September 23 – 25, 2022.
Roles
Love is on the Air:
TAYLOR (F, 40’s-50’s): Newscaster who takes her job very seriously. But when love becomes a factor, she can’t help but reveal her feelings.
RICK (M, 40’s-50’s): Newscaster who is very serious about his job. But easily surprised when things go off the rails.
ERIN (F, 30’s-40’s): Field reporter with a very light, and bubbly personality. Tells you how it is with a smile on her face.
The Lone Star Ladies’ Justice Brigade:
A.J. SATTERWHITE (M, 50’s): Gregarious car dealership owner and well-dressed Texas charmer dressed in cowboy boots AND a Stetson, who is confronted by the three women he is dating at the same time.
TWYLA (F, 30-40’s): A.J.’s flashy blonde (in every sense of the word) girlfriend who met A.J. when she was shopping for a car. Works at a chiropractor’s office across from A.J.’s business.
CORINNE (F, 40-50’s): A. J,’s fashionably, smart, professional realtor girlfriend who has a fender-bender with Twyla and learns of their shared connection to A.J.
HOLLIS (F, 40-50’s): A.J.’s vivacious, no-nonsense, third girlfriend who learns of her connection to Corinne when she attends an open house.
ELSIE SATTERWHITE (F, 70-80’s): A.J’s feisty, sharp as a tack country mother who suggested the confrontation with A.J.
A Hono-Lulu of a Honeymoon:
SUGAR LEE (F, 40’s-50’s): The newlywed wife. More than happy to be with her new husband but tries to fix the situation when everything goes wrong. Georgia native.
BOBBY DWAYNE (M, 40’s-50’s): Sugar Lee’s new husband and old high school sweetheart. Wants nothing more than to spend time with her. Annoyed at her friends back home. Georgia native.
NITA (F, 40’s-50’s): One of Sugar Lee’s friends and co-workers. A sweet and simple country woman. Chatterbox through and through. Georgia native.
CARLENE (F, 40’s-50’s): Another one of Sugar Lee’s friends and co-workers. Self-deprecating and no-nonsense. Georgia native.
MAVIS (F, 50’s-60’s): Another one of Sugar Lee’s friends and co-workers. Brusque but likeable and afraid to speak her mind. Georgia native.
CRYSTAL (F, 40’s-50’s): Another one of Sugar Lee’s friends and co-workers. Daffy, bubbly and loveable. Not the sharpest tool in the shed. Georgia native.
PORTER (M, 40’s-50’s): Gentleman from their town who has flown there to profess his love for Carlene. Good-hearted, gregarious with a tendency to talk to loudly. Not too bright. Georgia native.
A Little Brit of Romance:
ALISTAIR STANDLEY (M, 50’s): Attractive, polite, and reserved British patron attracted to Gwendolyn. Unwitting participant in Brandy’s shenanigans.
GWENDOLYN NORWICH (F, 50’s): Elegant, friendly British woman who is attracted to Alistair. Amused by the goings-on between Brandy and Alistair.
LOTTIE (F, 70’s): Dedicated seen-it-all waitress with a cockney accent; moves slowly; provides comic relief.
BRANDY POOVEY (F, 40’s): Loud, flirty, vivacious American chatterbox in want of attention.
FERLIN (M, 40’s): Brandy’s equally loud, on-again-off-again, rough-hewn, brutish American boyfriend.
Upper West Side Story:
Stan (M, 40’s-50’s): Trying everything to propose to his girlfriend and tries to keep the chaos at bay when it begins.
Jake (M, 40’s-50’s): Stan’s best friend. Sarcastic and cynical at the prospect of the proposal. Never afraid to make a joke. Maybe a bit lonely himself.
Mimi (F, 40’s-50’s): The French caterer of the engagement. But soon falls ill under odd circumstances.
Amber (F, 40’s-50’s): A singing/dancing telegram there for the proposal, ends up in the middle of the chaos. Very bright personality.
Rita (F, 40’s-50’s): An EMT to help Mimi recover. Very feisty and man hungry. No real scruples to speak of.
Meredith (F, 40’s-50’s): Stan’s ex-wife. Sophisticated and wry. They share the apartment and is less than happy about the insanity that ensues.
Deena (F, 30’s-40’s): Stan’s girlfriend, the object of his desire. Pampered and assured. But proves to be less faithful than expected.
Willard (M, 40’s-50’s): A party guest that got lost in his own adventure and ends up in the middle of this chaos.
FUNNY LITTLE THING CALLED LOVE is presented by special arrangement with Broadway Licensing, LLC, servicing the Dramatists Play Service collection. (www.dramatists.com)
